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I am a mother....

i cook, i clean, i do laundry, i take care of the kids, i take care of the dogs. i do EVERYTHING. when im sick...i dont have someone waiting on me hand and foot...when im sick i still get up and still cook and clean and do laundry and take care of the kids and the dogs....i SHOW my children how to organize their rooms and put things away...but no...i get them shoving everything under their beds and into their closets...trash all over their floors and strings hanging from the ceilings and lamps...i get clean clothes mixed with dirty clothes so i have to wash everything all over again....i get asked if i need help when im already almost done with what im doing....i shouldn't have to ASK for help from my kids or my husband...they should OFFER to help me or better yet if they see something that needs to be done and i have not gotten to it...to just DO IT...instead of waiting and EXPECTING me to do it.....its all i feel like im EXPECTED to do it all...i get out of my house alone or just with my husband maybe once every 2-3 months...and maybe a couple of times do i actually get to the grocery store ALONE...or other household errands that i must run....i dont have the luxury of having someone watch my kids every weekend like a lot of mothers i know....not that i would want to go out EVERY weekend...because i AM a mother first and foremost...but to get out once or twice a month without the kids....would do a world of good for my sanity and make me a better mother (and i really dont understand how some mothers can go out ALL the time leaving their kids to go party it up and get drunk every weekend...to me that shows a serious lack of responsibility)...cause right now im so closed up in this house away from everything but the mess of the house that i no longer have any desire to clean up....that i have no care if the world if it stays a mess...but i still try to clean it up as to not make my husband upset....but sometimes it just too much and i get so sick and tired of doing it ALL...i get asked...why not have the kids help...well that is pretty pointless cause of the reasons stated eariler...it doesn't GET CLEANED!!!!!!! i am so burnt out right now...i want to scream and cry...and im jealous....of those mothers who get to go out every once in a while...those who have sitters for their kids....those who have family members that would be willing to watch their kids...grandparents who would watch their kids if even for an hour or two...yeah i do that that SOMETIMES...but it happens very rarely and when it does happen i do cherish it and love it up....but it happens maybe 2 or 3 times a YEAR....and im jealous of my husband....who can go out at the drop of a hat....he gets invites to go out all the time and he doesn't have to worry about staying home with the kids...cause its MY JOB.....he can go out with friends...hang out....and when he asks me to come along the responsibility of finding a sitter falls ONTO ME....rarely will he help me find a sitter...it makes me feel as if he doesn't WANT me to go...i feel that if he did he would put forth the effort to help me find a sitter....its stirring up some resentment in me that i am just not liking...and i dont know what to do!!!!

MOOOOOOM.....

i always dread that word when its yelled out from across the house and its coming from the bathroom. that means my three year old is in there...in the dark....waiting for me to wipe her ass. i cannot wait til this stage is over with...i have passed the bottles, and the diapers, now its just the endless butt wiping...which by the way she is very capable of doing all by herself....cause she does it all the time....she just likes to tell me she wants ME to do it...not her....so i probably could just let her sit there...but then that would be mean right? no? should i try it?

December is Dwindling to an End

FINALLY!!! I can almost breath again. December is always so hectic in this house...but this year it was extra extra due to dentist appointments and doctor appointments. December 3 was Elyse's 8th Birthday, Dec 7 was Raianna's 10th birthday. Then we did a birthday party for them that included 16 screaming girls in my house on Dec 12th. Dec 6th was filled with dentist appointments for me and the girls. Then Dec 13th I had to go back to the dentist and got 2 of my wisdom teeth pulled out which was ohh a bucket load of fun...and my husband had doctor appointments Dec 13 and 15th. Then of course there was Christmas...but I got a little break from the insanity all 3 of my girls went to my moms house from Dec 22 til the 25th! I actually had a clean house for 4 days!! I wish I could say it was still clean. Now today is Dec 27th and my husband has yet ANOTHER drs appointment today....he will be having a lot of those for the next couple of months, he is not even sure WHY!!! and this week the girls are off school all week long...so its just me and them all day every day with no break of school....whatever will we do??? still trying to figure that one out.....too cold to take them outside....and not enough places to be able to take all 3 of them to have fun....and by myself at that!

Birthday Girls

Elyse turned 8 years old on Dec 3, 2010....i cannot believe shes 8 now...time has flown by so fast!! shes finally starting to GROW!!! shes doing good in school improving so much!! very proud of her!! Raianna will be TEN YEARS OLD!!! tomorrow Dec 7, 2010....DOUBLE DIGITS!!! where on earth has the time gone!?!? seems like just yesterday my little girls were babies and now they are young ladies!!

Dentist appointments

well today we had dental appointments for me raianna and elyse....lets start with the girls...they did GREAT!! still no cavities for either of them...raianna is 10 and elyse is 8!! woohoo!!! and as for me...i haven't been to the dentist since ohh gosh 14? 15 years old?? LONG TIME AGO!! over 10 years ago!! i thought i would have a mouth of cavities and other problems...turns out i dont! lol i do have 3 small cavities but they aren't that bad she said....my front tooth that has been bothering me recently cause of one of the kids head bumping me right in the tooth...which prompted me to really make this appointment....is fine...she said there is a small stress line but it doesn't seem to have damaged anything...so yay for that....and she wants to pull some wisdom teeth AHHHHHHH....so on monday i'll go in and get that done and get some fillings....UGH....not sure if i jsut want her to pull the right wisdom teeth as its only the right bottom one that is a problem with it being partially covered by my gums....or just let her do all 4....yikes...not sure....

I am a MOM

My home is filled with toys, has fingerprints on everything & is never quiet, my hair is usually a mess, makeup is a thing of the past, & I'm always tired but there is always love & laughter here. In 20 years my children won't remember the house or my hair but they will ...remember the time we spent together & the love they felt. Your children only get one childhood make it a good one...